it seems that the more i step out and search and question the more i realize that the answers are not forthcoming from external sources. i think what generally occurs at best (which honestly is a wonderful gift) is a small structure of thoughts and ideas that get laid out in a fashion that can guide us. no answers but direction.
"father into your hands i commend my spirit."
"father into your hands why have you forsaken me?"
Luke or Mark, an old bald woman or an old bald man better suited it seems in a suit of leisure, but in his case without homicidal thoughts running like those from her scarlet robes.
what i desire is a teacher; a text or a process or something in which i can commend my spirit but everywhere i turn i am confronted with a human filter. this is the very juxtaposition that adds water to the concrete mixture of my own agony, that a human can ascend but only through its own folly and this is the ubiquitous nature whenever we ask or trust or speak and face all sources, other humans and of course our selves...
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i suppose that all we can really do is go deep into the depths of ourselves until we are nothing more then our shell housing consciousness. we should really keep keep keep meditating just so we can know the bear minimum of human consequence and impact.
ReplyDeleteWhoa Siddhartha! You are transcending my brain capacity. That's good though, I needed that. Maybe YOU should be the teacher... ; )
ReplyDeletei guess i don't always think in terms
ReplyDeleteof answers or questions but more in why
or why not.answers seem to come when i am
not thinking about anything. sometimes i
rely more on dreams to point the way.